Iâ€™m 49, divorced plus in brand brand new relationship (8 months) Progressing nicely and heâ€™s lovely but We experience extreme relationship anxiety that is actually getting even worse longer Iâ€™m seeing him. Terrified from it no longer working down, have problems with low self confidence and a part that is big of seems it could be easier merely to end things now to stop myself getting harmed. An element of the problem is we reside over an hour or so or more aside so weekends have to be planned and spontaneous social gatherings maybe not feasible. We have a great time but he finds it impossible to sleep in the same bed as me (he claims he gets restless legs) so we end up sleeping apart and I miss the closeness and canâ€™t sleep for worrying when we are together. By the time weâ€™ve invested two nights together Iâ€™m utterly exhausted and spent and feel really down between visits. We have mentioned residing together however in a â€œcouple of yearsâ€ and we genuinely donâ€™t discover how Iâ€™ll complete the period that is interim. We both have demanding jobs and older children at home so lots to get results around. We canâ€™t help experiencing that i ought to be feeling less anxious right now however the stress is all consuming and Iâ€™m miserable for most of the right time Iâ€™m maybe not with him. I’m sure this really isnâ€™t a quality that is attractive We canâ€™t appear to shake it well.
In the event that anxiety of stress is causing you to be exhausted after hanging out together, I’m struggling to see any future that is happy you tbh.
I am only a little unsure about the legs that are restless. I’ve this on occasion, but I would personally state it gets the possible to bother DH a lot more than me personally. I am wondering if you’re subtly being held at supply’s size right here? In which particular case, that is why you feel a bit ‘off’ about any of it.
we now have talked about this in which he claims thereâ€™s nothing incorrect but has additionally seen it is a trend that just happens when heâ€™s in bed with me (or even to become more accurate has occurred with anybody aside from his wife . divided 3 years ago) Heâ€™s got an infinitely more protected accessory design it a problem than me and apparently doesnâ€™t really consider. And, yes. the stress is crippling but i understand much would be to do with my very own history/past as opposed to what heâ€™s doing. Heâ€™s generally attentive, type, communicative, thoughtful. if just a little detached. Iâ€™ve told him just a little about just just just how Iâ€™m feeling and he did react well but if We told him your whole truth heâ€™d think Iâ€™m positively mental and Iâ€™m worried about coming across as too needy.
Heâ€™s significantly detached and you also appear to have an attachment style that is anxious. Unfortuitously those two designs usually do not work very well together it means heâ€™s losing interest or not as committed as you will always question or worry or read into his words/actions and think.
Heâ€™s notably detached and you also appear to have an anxious accessory design. Regrettably those two designs usually do not work nicely together it means heâ€™s losing interest or not as committed as you will always question or worry or read into his words/actions and think.
This. Often two different people could be lovely and great not appropriate. It is rubbish but it is reality of life i am afraid. This mixture of accessory needs is generally a recipe for anxiety and stress.
I do not think the sleep thing means such a thing apart from he desires to rest. Perhaps it is a courteous excuse that you snore or move too much because he doesn’t want to tell you. Many people have become light sleepers.
In the place of fretting about whether or otherwise not the relationship could work, concentrate on doing things on your own – workout, classes on the web, self enhancement. Find one thing good to pay attention to so when he’s to you, simply enjoy and luxuriate in the full time.
Christ this won’t seem like a huge barrel of laughs does it?
No clue concerning the legs that are restless – maybe just just take that at face value.
You state you have been together 8 months – therefore all through lockdown? I mightn’t be dealing with residing together at this time .. this relationship is apparently causing you more anxiety than perhaps perhaps perhaps not – you do not need us to inform you that whenever a relationship is right, there is none with this hand wringing and angst
You’ll want to end it as you say – you’ll push him away in the end anyway if you carry on if you truly feel as bad. Or offer your self some form of breakdown. It may become more sensible to focus on the house and young ones and surely get yourself to a better destination mentally before considering dating
That you don’t feel safe in this relationship and that is adequate to end it. Is it possible to see your self holding in such as this for the next few years? Until guyspy you dial straight back the feelings and simply see this as one thing fun/casual?